I’m going to be vague and ramble a wee bit, and then I’m going to talk about pretty dolphins. Alrighty? OK. Let’s go.
It’s kind of amazing, how little sleep a person can get and still function. I have to admit though, one more night of no REM sleep and I may just lose it. Although, some might argue I’ve lost it already . . .
Sitting here I was wondering how I should really start this post (useless prattle above notwithstanding). It’s been so long. I said to myself, “I don’t even know where to begin.” I’m sure I’m not the only one who talks to herself; I mean, we’ve all got some kind of internal dialogue going on. So I was staring into space trying to wade through my thoughts and ideas, asking myself where to start, when that little inside voice sprang up and said: “Just begin at the beginning, because if you begin at the end and end at the beginning it would be hard to get anything done just right.” Usually the silent back and forth in my head is relegated to some kind of sarcastic commentary or a weighing of pros and cons for some sort of decision. But this time I seemed to have come up with some actually decent advice. So, I’ll try to follow it:
Basically, 2013 was my own personal year of hell. Don’t get me wrong. There were some highlights and I haven’t forgotten them. But for the most part those 12 months saw my descent into madness. Almost literally. My posts have been few and far between lately. My last entry was from December 10th, 2013. I almost can’t believe nearly two months have gone by since then. And since then a lot has happened, not all of it good. In December, on the 31st, the insanity and dread of my life seemed to peak. Since that day my life’s been even more upside down than ever before. But I’m told we’re on the right track to make my life better now. I have to admit I have mixed feelings about this, but I couldn’t even being to explain why or what I mean. In fact, what exactly’s been going on with me isn’t all that important. I just wanted to explain that my actions of late are simply the result of a plot twist my story has apparently taken. That’s all. I haven’t dropped off the face of the planet, I haven’t stopped my endeavors. Life just ended up taking a turn I never planned on and navigating it has taken up all of my time. I haven’t been diagnosed with any kind of terminal physical ailment or anything (in fact, I am in fabulous shape..mostly). But sometimes, often, I would have preferred physical pain to what I was going through. Strange how life works. Things really do never seem to turn out like you expect. Reality sometimes jumps up seemingly out of nowhere, presenting itself suddenly and surprisingly, leaving you stunned for a while as you try to reconcile what you thought with what is. I still feel a bit like a deer caught in oncoming headlights when it comes to the recent unveiling of my own reality. But I’m wading through all the new things I’ve had thrust at me. Getting your bearings after having been turned completely upside is not all that easy.
In all this I’ve been a bit of a ghost. Floating around here and there, haunting some places but never staying around long enough for anyone to be completely sure they’ve seen me. I have to relearn how to do almost everything. I have to relearn how to be. . . me.
So. Here I am, upside down. Despite this it seems as though some tiny fraction of the creative person I used to be has clung on this whole time, and I have actually been getting a few things accomplished. (Here’s where the pretty dolphins come in.)
Admittedly I haven’t been doing too much. At least that how it feels. But I have been able to take a few photos recently. I always enjoy that. Only, there’s not too much to photograph around town here. Winter really kind of sucks. Thankfully I had a tiny break from this harsh season. It’s all kind of a blur now, but about two weeks ago I took off for a short vacation. Here at home the weather’s simply heinous: no sun, no warmth, the ground’s so dry, covered in dirty, depressing snow. So it was good to be able to visit a place with sunshine, blue skies, and green grass. I really miss the vibrancy of summer time. It was nice to get away, feel the warm sun, breath the fresh, warm air.
I’ve always had an affinity for jut about any kind of animal. There’s just something about them that touches me to my core I think. I can’t help but respect them and admire them. I got to see some pretty awesome animals while I was gone. I could have spent hours more watching and learning about them. Dolphins, cownose rays, beluga whales, manatees…they all amaze me. And there’s something uniquely calming about watching these creatures.
It rained just once while I was away. I managed to escape the downpour just in time, and then got to enjoy sights like this once the sun returned:
I even got up close with some penguins one day during my trip- a definite first for me. How cool is that?
I’ve never really thought of penguins looking all that huggable until I took this last picture. Does not this penguin just look uber cute and squishy? Not that I’d ever squish a penguin of course…HE’S JUST SO CUTE.
I also learned the difference between king and emperor penguins. I’m not sure how I managed to get through twenty-three years of life not knowing the difference. Not that it comes up in everyday conversation all that frequently I guess. . .
King penguins are smaller than emperors (this I knew) but they also have a bit stronger orange coloring. I think they’re gorgeous.
Aside from a few vacation-related photographs, I dabbled a bit in making some celestial art again. I came up with these two pieces on the same day (and then promptly forgot about them when I encountered the wonder that is room full of adorable penguins.)
They’re not much. I’ve plateaued a bit in that area. Temporarily of course. But still.
I’ve also (as of last summer, actually) taken up SMASHing as a hobby. I honestly can’t remember if I’ve really written about it around here before, but it’s just a nice little way to preserve some thoughts and things. Every now and then when I feel crafty I sit down and make up a page or two. I’ve designed my own book (I’m so darn DIY) that I should try to take a decent photo of sometimes as it’s actually pretty awesome. There are just a few pages in my me-book so far, but I’m in no rush. I’ve just started smashing things from my trip, which promises to be fun.
Let’s see, what else have I been up to…Oh, I got a really cute new haircut a couple of weeks ago. Of course this has nothing to do with art or design so moving on. . .
Okay, last, but not least, I’ve been working on a new yarn-related project. Squee. I don’t want to give anything away, but here’s a sneak peak:
I’ll hint you this: I fell in love with this awesome creature thanks to my out of town trip visiting some stunning aquatic creatures last month. Also, I’ve named this amigurumi “Spud.” I let you figure out what it might be. . . So, if you’re in the market for a cute new amigurumi pattern of mine keep an eye out for the next couple of posts around here. If all goes well I’ll be sharing some new cuties. Granted, I have started work up again, new semester and all, so there goes the free time I had had. But, I guess that’s life. In spite of my upside down very topsy-turvy life I’m managing to trudge along doing things when I can. That’s all anyone can ask for I guess.
Okay. Ciao you awesome people.
PS. I have not proofread this post. This will undoubtedly come back to haunt me. I’m too tired to care.